January 27, 2013
Dear Lianne, Is He The "Write" One For Me?
Isn't love wonderful? The feeling of exhilaration at glimpsing your new beau or the knowing glance of "connection" that sends electrical waves of joy through your body telling you that this new love is real. That heady feeling of being in love is so beautiful you never want that feeling to subside. And it does not have to leave you but it most certainly will transform as you grow together as a couple. After the initial chapter of new love, the realities of day to day events and experiences causes your individual beliefs and emotional responses to surface. The person you thought you knew is suddenly coping with new challenges in ways that you'd not anticipated. You find yourself questioning, "Is this the person I met and fell in love with?" You even find your old fears and doubts flooding into what had once been a thrilling, secure feeling of love. Questions about his suitability as a future husband and father start nagging your sensitive, self-doubting personality that had been confident until your parents and friends started pointing out his deficits.
With all of the post-engagement plans, he is starting to show the stress of balancing the needs of his future bride to be with his well-meaning family. You start to get caught up in the swirl of wedding plans and flowers and reception halls in a feeble attempt to control your environment. He is withdrawing and doesn't act the way he used to; all is so busy and confusing and the original passion and charm of the moment is giving way to questions from relatives about the choice of venue, or the decision to marry on the beach, or the choice to integrate the service so that both of your religious backgrounds are included. Sacrifices about what you intended are starting to grate on your sense of self and you're realizing that your prince charming is human after all, deferring to the stronger personalities in his life to make his life decisions. Or perhaps he is getting too involved, telling you what type of food and venue he'd like for his wedding day. What's a girl to do? All is so confusing and utterly frustrating, you're starting to wonder if that old ladder dad stashed under the back deck might serve as a great getaway to a destination wedding for two. No guest table plans, no impositions of others' good intentions.
Well, before you project your new doubts about your marriage plans onto your fiancee, perhaps I can be of assistance in evaluating your handwriting samples to help you to better understand the two individual personalities who will be joining as one couple in marriage. A sacred relationship, marriage is not to be entered into lightly. For better or for worse is true for all relationships that have lasting power and your coupling is no exception. I could conduct a compatibility analysis for you both, perhaps confirming or alleviating your concerns.
Getting married is an exciting adventure but it is also a stressful time when navigating the needs of your significant other and his family and friends juxtaposed against those needs of you and your family and friends. As a friend of mine always advised to me, "There is pathology in every family" and there certainly is something about weddings that bring the best and worst behaviors out in even the most stable families. There is something about the tradition that brings to the surface questions that you've not had to face up until now. What religion(s), if any, will be recognized? Who will be offended by our choice of ceremony? Will divorced parents get along? Will my young child take a hissy fit processing up to the altar with the ring pillow in hand? Will Aunt Gladys be offended if we don't have her do a reading? Will dad have a few too many drinks? Will the families appreciate one another and will we ever make it to our honeymoon? Choices big and small will overwhelm your days causing your emotions to become frayed.
Maybe that outburst you had about the invitations being not exactly as you'd envisioned has caused him to question your maturity as a future wife. Maybe you are questioning your own feelings about a forever commitment. Before you start to throw out all of your plans, why not contact me for a private consultation about your compatibility as a couple? You will be amazed by how much I can tell about you both from your handwriting samples. You love this man with all of your heart and you want your relationship to be filled with mutual understanding and love. Contact me for an assessment of your unique personalities and learn about the strengths of your coupling, along with the potential challenges of your unique pairing. You will be amazed by how much I can tell about you both from your handwriting samples. Handwriting analysis can provide an accurate prediction about how the two of you can best communicate for long lasting love. And isn't that what you're shooting for in the long term? Release temporarily your focus on the choice of flowers, napkin holders and music. Focus on you and your significant other and relax. Congratulations to you both! This is only the beginning of many wonderful and exhausting and fulfilling experiences the two of you will face together. Let me help you understand one another as you begin this new journey toward wedded bliss.